5 Strange Things You Can Buy From Chinese WebsitesSep 20, 2012By Andrea Scarlatelli, eChinacities.com
Everyone knows that China is the place for weird and wonderful things. Whether it is the dried crocodiles at Wal-Mart or tapeworms advertised as a form of weight loss, you can find pretty much everything you'll ever need (and lots and lots of things that you do not) in China. Browsing online can be a fun way to get an idea of the wacky items for sale out there. Here are some of the stranger things you can find through your website queries.
1) Yak testicles in a gift box
The next time you are at a loss as to what to get [insert name of hard-to-shop-for person here], just remember – there's always the yak testicles option. And, for your convenience, they come nicely packaged in a lush gift box, one that I am sure could easily act as a display box as well. Now, I realize that eating the testicles of an animal is not unusual at all in certain parts of the world – in China they are usually touted as a "manly" food that will help cure any, um, problems, a man may be having in the bedroom. But this is certainly the first time I have seen them packaged so darn prettily. I am still trying to figure out the sort of person for whom this gift would be appropriate – perhaps something a wife could give to her husband?
Price: 399 RMB
2) A boyfriend/girlfriend
OK, while you technically can't buy a girlfriend or boyfriend, you can certainly rent them for however long you want. And who knows? Maybe some people out there are willing to offer a sort of "rent to own" option. The amount of pressure young people in China face to be in a relationship, especially around Chinese New Year when the whole family tends to gather together, has pushed some of them to resort to hiring a surrogate significant other for a certain amount of time. Current prices online hover around 1,000 RMB per day for a base fee, but costs can add up quickly if you want to tack on extras like hand holding or hugging. And of course, the significant other's food, transportation, and lodging accommodations are also the responsibility of the person who hires him or her. Totally worth it to not receive lecture after lecture from the parents about how being single is basically inviting doom and destruction upon everyone you know.
Price: minimum 1,000 RMB a day
3) Botox infused with placenta
Now, I'm not here to judge anyone who decides that buying "legitimate" Botox online in China is a good idea, or even one that is fair to middling. And thank goodness, because apparently there are a lot of people out there who do. In fact, the market for injecting poison into your face is so big that one now has more options than ever for what type of poison to inject – including a type that contains human placenta. Apparently, in traditional Chinese medicine the placenta is healthy for the body, especially for new moms – although according to www.gentlebirths.org, the "state of mind one carries while working with the placenta will be absorbed into the medicine," so maybe stressed out new moms shouldn't be the ones who actually work with the placenta. It is often dried, ground into powder, and ingested via capsule form.
Price: 999 RMB
4) A gas can full of snake bile
Oh Taobao, the endless hours of entertainment you provide… Where else could people possibly find things that are so useful and obviously safe for consumption, like a dirty gas can filled with snake bile? Snake bile is usually sold in pharmacies in China as a remedy for coughing and sore throats. Perhaps buying your snake bile online from a gas can and ingesting it might actually get rid of your cough. The other diseases you would likely pick up from it, however, may not prove worth the experiment.
Price: 12 RMB
5) A feces-shaped plush toy
Another great gift idea (see "Yak testicles in a gift box" above), this feces-shaped plush toy, complete with idiotic smile, would be the perfect present for… someone with a fetish? A girlfriend who draws no lines when it comes to her doll collecting addiction? A child who is in that stage where everything related to bodily functions is hilarious? I'm actually not really sure who would benefit most from this gift – all I know is that the translated description of it online makes it worth every penny. I mean, who wouldn't want a "drooling poo doll stool feces plush doll toy"?
Price: 30 RMB
Online Shopping in China: Beginner's Guide
Online and On Time – Buying Things Online for Delivery to China: English-language Books and More
How to Save Thousands through Online Shopping in China
so how do I find a girl who wants to rent me for a day or two ? Sounds like a good source of income. And a nice way to spice up a holiday
Renting a girlfriend sounds awesome, I'll only need a couple of hours with her. I bet this is just a masquerade for hooking. Sounds more like an escort service to me. Sure you only rent her for her company and anything else is an agreement between you and her haha.
How much would they pay for a 6'4 foreign guy with a very happy baby mallet?
if you seriously can't bribe one of your lady friends to help you out or come of with some kind of lie, i laugh at you whole-heatedly.
I second that emotion for being rented as a short term boyfriend!
Save for the himalayan oysters, this all sounds like stuff you can win in a UFO game in Japan. Or wait, China's joining in on the hot topic: http://buildingmybento.wordpress. com/2012/03/17/chinese-claw-machines.
The plush toy looks more like a big cartoon-variety beehive, IMHO.
As for animal/livestock testicles eaten in certain parts of the world - bull testicles are eaten in the western US, where they're considered something of a delicacy (sometimes referred to as "Rocky Mountain Oysters"). I imagine they're probably also eaten in Argentina, Brasil, and Mexico. Sheep testicles are eaten by the Basque (France, Spain), in Italy, in the US, in New Zealand, and (I'm told) in Russia, Turkey, and modern-day Iran. Hard to get too "weirded out" about yak balls in a box unless you're some effete city slicker who never spent time in flyover country.
I dont see how eating testicles is any different from eating any other dead animal parts, they are all disgusting and so cavemanish.
Also, the snake bile (actually, isn't this usually snake bile and blood?) remedy *might* actually have some basis in fact. In Western medicine we're now looking at alligator blood as a way to treat antibiotic-resistant infections (I can't include the link, but see "Alligator Blood May Put the Bite on Antibiotic-Resistant Infections" in Science Daily (Apr. 7, 2008)) as well as blood and venom from various snakes to help treat a range of health problems.